Matt’s Bar
3500 Cedar Ave South
Minneapolis, MN 55407
http://www.mattsbar.com

I’ve written on this site ad nauseum about how seemingly all I do is watch Food Network or food shows on the Travel Channel.  Because of this, I’ve seen countless shows on both channels that like to profile the “Juicy Lucy” war in Minneapolis.  I’ve seen this on Man v. Food, Food Wars, and Chowdown Countdown, among others.  For those of you that have never seen this or heard of a “Juicy Lucy”, check out the profile at Wikipedia to read what it is and see how the battles over the burger are fought in Minneapolis.  I was in Minneapolis for a seminar recently and since I’d seen so much of this on television, I decided to give one of these places a shot.  Research told me that my hotel was closest to Matt’s and since it has been rated the best multiple times, this was my choice.

What I Got:  Jucy Lucy; $5.50.  And yes, the misspelling is correct.  Check out the Wikipedia history for why.

As you can see from the blurry picture of the menu above (it’s hard to not look like a dopey tourist and take a decent picture), Matt’s Bar is a place that has been in business for quite sometime.  It’s a small place and when I arrived just BEFORE the dinner rush, I was still the seventh person in line, had a twenty minute wait and was fortunate to squeeze into a spot at the bar.  By the time I left when the dinner rush was happening and the line was twenty deep on a Sunday night.  The point is, if you are ever going to go, don’t expect to be seated quickly.  Also, since it takes time to melt cheese inside a burger, don’t expect the food to come out quickly either.  Now, onto the burger…

As you can see, there’s nothing fancy about this burger.  It’s basically two thin patties smashed together with a pile of American cheese melted in the middle served on top of a store bought bun and then wrapped in wax paper.  You don’t even get a plate or a glass for your Diet Coke, so Matt’s is clearly a no frills type of place.  The burger is topped with a couple of pickle slices and you have the option to get grilled onions on top of your burger and I took advantage of that.

Taste-wise, this was nothing special.  Honestly, it tasted like a bigger and thicker White Castle hamburger with melted cheese in the middle that was also exceptionally greasy.  I’m not completely against that since I’m one of the crazies that like White Castles, but this burger tasted so similar to those that I can’t classify this in the “special” category like so many television shows and also the residents of Minneapolis have done previously (they’ve won multiple local best burger awards and have them posted on the wall).

Would I Buy It Again?  I’ll probably won’t be in Minneapolis anytime again soon, so I really can’t give a fair answer on this one.  If I was in Minneapolis, I’d have to say no.  I’d try some of the other Juicy Lucy options first before I ever made a return visit here.

Oh yeah, I’ve been holding off on this entire time (was the suspense killing you?).  When I first placed my order, one of the locals sitting next to me at the bar told me the best way to eat the burger is to take a bite (careful, the cheese is scalding hot!), then hold it vertically and squeeze it so that the cheese oozes out so that you can get the full experience.  So, without further delay, here is your food porn for this post…

To sum the Jucy Lucy all up by comparing to White Castles again, if I was a Minnesota resident, I would eat it if I was in the neighborhood.  but that’s about it.  If I was a tourist like I was, it’s worth a visit to say you’ve done it and to have had the experience, but other than that, there’s no reason to go back unless you really, really like the interesting environment.

-IndianapolisEater

As we’ve covered here before, I watch way too much Food Network television and when they put out a new show, chances are probably pretty good that I’m going to end up watching at least one episode in order to give it a chance.  I’m not sure whether that’s because I’m a loser or because there’s nothing good on television in the summer, but I’m guessing it is more of the former than it is the latter.

Anyway, within the past month or so, Food Network has debuted another new show called “Cupcake Wars“.  It’s not an awful show, but it’s also not the type of show that people are going to throw into the Smithsonian and say that this is great television.  In my mind, it’s kind of like a car wreck…you don’t like to see them, but when you do, you can’t take your eyes off of it.  Plus, they have a goofy tank shaped like a cupcake in the opening credits that blasts away at things (see above).

So, let me lay out the basic premise for you:  four cupcake baker teams (one main person and an assistant) square off in three rounds of competition and one team is eliminated after each round.  The winner of the show is then given a “contract” to showcase their cupcakes at an event catered by the show.  Such events have included golf outings, museum openings, birthday parties, etc.  They are also given $10,000 as a prize and most of them use it to start their own business, so that is nice.

In the first round, the bakers are given example ingredients that are somehow related to the event and then asked to incorporate at least two into a cupcake and then are judged on taste.  In round two, they are asked to create three cupcakes and they are judged on both taste and presentation.  In round three, they are given teams of “helpers” and are asked to bake 1,000 individual cupcakes using the four cupcakes recipes that they’ve previously made and also create a giant display for these cupcakes.  Besides the fact that it is a show based on baking cupcakes, it doesn’t sound all that bad, right?

Well, it is that bad and it has everything to do with the cast.  Since you are dealing with bakers (albeit cupcake bakers), you are apt to have your fair share of loons and I can deal with that.  The problem lies with the judges (two regulars and one guest judge that is related to the event) and host.  One judge named Candace Nelson apparently opened the first cupcake bakery (or cupcakery as they call it) in the United States and I’m fine with her.  She’s competent, personable and not only that, she’s also pleasing on the eyes and I can appreciate that.  The other judge, a Frenchman Florian Bellanger, is an acclaimed pastry chef with impeccable credentials.  On the surface, that sounds great.  The problem lies with the fact that the guy’s English is barely passable and that’s being kind.  I don’t doubt his acumen, but seriously, what genius at the Food Network decided to hire a guy that the audience can’t understand?  I mean, they actually have to put subtitles on the screen sometimes because his speaking is so indecipherable!  This is one of your judges?!  Was Betty Crocker not available?!  LOL.  In all honesty though, Florian isn’t that bad.  I just find it amusing that he’s one of the judges.

On the other hand, there is one person on this show that is ABYSMAL and that is the main host, Justin Willman.

Seriously, look at this dope.  Without even hearing him speak, don’t you just want to punch him?  Once you hear him speak, you’ll want to punch him even more.  This guy is 100% Grade A tool.  In fact, he’s such a tool that he’s the president of the tool company.  I CAN’T STAND HIM.  His sole purpose on the show is to blubber out “witty” lines about wars and time running out and frankly, he can’t even manage to do that.  He’s a buffoon.  Off the top of my head, one of his classics inludes (this is from the Natural History Museum episode), “ten minutes left in the round…time for you to find out if your time on Cupcake Wars is natural history or not.”  That’s just the beginning and he deals out at least six to ten of these beauties per episode.  I hope he writes those lines himself, because if he doesn’t, it makes me shudder when I think that there is another person in the world that is as big of a tool as him.

In addition to his idiotic lines, his performance when people are voted off is about as cold and callous as a person can be.  Instead of showing some sort of remorse that a person is being asked to leave the show, Justin the idiot delivers one of his priceless lines with a smug smile on his face.  It’s almost as if he takes joy in seeing someone’s chance at a huge career boost (and also $10,000) go by the wayside.  What an ass.

Anyway, I’ve ranted too long.  Has anyone else watched this show?  If so, what do you think?  If you haven’t watched it, give it a shot and come back and leave your thoughts.

FYI, Cupcake Wars airs on Tuesday nights at 9:00 Eastern on the Food Network.

-IndianapolisEater

Judging by this blog, one could make the assumption that all we do is eat and it wouldn’t be that far from the truth.  In all honesty though, some of us do have lives, children, etc.  Unfortunately, I do not and end up watching a lot of TV.  Ha!

Okay, maybe I do have a life (somewhat) but I don’t have kids, so I do have time to watch a lot of TV.  And because I like to stay knowledgeable about the “industry”, a lot of these shows revolve around food.  There’s a lot of food-related shows out there (challenge, documentary and educational styled shows) to watch and a lot of channels on which to watch them, so there’s certainly enough to keep you busy.  I watch all kinds of them, but in order to keep this post as brief as possible, here are the ones that are set on my DVR so that I don’t miss them:

Challenge Shows

Dinner: Impossible (Food Network):  I don’t know what it is about this show, but I’m addicted.  Hosted by a goofy British bastard with a previously falsified resume (he actually lost the show for a time because of it) named Robert Irvine, this show puts Robert in situations where he has to come up with a banquet style meal against all obstacles.  Some obstacles include lack of food on hand, lack of cooking equipment, lack of space, lack of time, etc.  Basically, they unknowingly drop him into a seemingly insurmountable situation and somehow he usually triumphs and accomplishes the job of getting the meal prepared.  It may just be the magic of television bending the rules in order to make him win more often than not, but even if they do bend the rules, what he does is pretty darn impressive.  Robert’s a driven, yet engaging personality and I’ll admit that I’ve used a few of his techniques/solutions that he’s come up with on the show when I’ve been cooking in my own kitchen or out in a tailgate lot.

Man v. Food (Travel Channel):  Hosted by Adam Richman, this show revolves around Adam traveling around and eating massive quantities of food in cities across America (thus the reason it is on the Travel Channel).  It’s interesting to see some of the crazy food creations that are out there in America and watching the total goof Richman interact with these people is equally entertaining.  What really makes this show and makes me love it is watching the eating challenges that he takes on at the end of each episode.  Whether it’s spicy chicken wings, 150 oysters, a meter of bratwurst, etc., they are always awesome.  Plus, being the big fan of eating challenges that I am, it is always fun to sit there and wonder if I could defeat some of the challenges.  It’s almost interactive in that respect and if I had to speculate, I think I could complete nearly every single hot food challenge but probably only about 25% of the food quantity challenges.

Food Wars (Travel Channel):  This one is relatively new as it has only been showing for about a month.  Hosted by a very cute Camille Ford, the entire premise of this show is based on going to a particular city, picking out a notable food item from the city (chicken wings in Buffalo, Italian beef sandwiches in Chicago, cheesesteaks in Philadelphia, etc.) and then holding a competition between two of the most famous purveyors of that food item in the city.  The contest includes local “super fans” from each restaurant and local “celebrities” who are blindfolded and then are given a taste of each food item.  The premise of the show is not exactly the most brain busting of all time, but is interesting to see how passionate people are about these foods from their favorite particular place (also sometimes the demographics of the customers from the competing restaurants can be VERY entertaining).  Plus, it’s nice to know about some of these places in case I ever find myself in one of these cities so that I can give the food a shot myself.

Hell’s Kitchen (FOX):  At this point, everyone and their mother knows who Gordon Ramsay is and he’s the host/antagonist in this show.  Matching up teams of aspiring chefs against each other with a grand prize being a job at a “prestigious” restaurant or a restaurant of their own, this one is competition-style reality television at its heart.  It’s over-dramatized, melodramatic and fake (all things that I usually hate), yet I can’t stop watching.  I will admit that in recent years, I find myself caring less about the competitors and the show and more about watching what Ramsay is going to do next.  I love him that much.

Throwdown! with Bobby Flay (Food Network):  I’ll admit that I don’t pay that close of attention to this one at all times, but I do like it.  Ordinarily, I think Bobby Flay is a pompous ass (wibia is in love with him), but on this show he tones it down and actually acts somewhat like a real human being and that makes it watchable.  The premise of this show is that Bobby goes across America and finds a person/people that specialize in a particular food item (cheesecake, fried chicken, apple pie, etc.) and then comes up with a recipe of his own to challenge them in a “throwdown” competition where a winner is declared.  They always use taste as a judging parameter (obviously), but the other parameters sometimes vary from show to show to include such things as creativity, presentation, etc.  It’s not the greatest television ever produced, but it is a fun way to learn about foods that I’ve never heard of and also to see the good, honest, friendly people that make these foods.

Educational Shows

Good Eats (Food Network):  Hosted by Alton Brown, this show is more of a learning show for me than it is anything else.  Granted, Alton is very entertaining and dare I say very funny, but the primary reason I watch this show is to learn about the food trivia, gadgets and recipes.  This show has given me a new appreciation of some foods and has also taught me different uses for foods that I already knew about and for some that I did not know about either.  For that alone, this show is worth watching.  There are other reasons though too and one of them is the fact that this show is just so darn cheesy that it is funny.  The best part is that Alton doesn’t care about hiding it either and even plays up to the cheese factor and that just makes it even better.

Food Tech (History Channel):  I’ll admit that this one is the newest show on my list and the only reason I started watching was because I heard they were going to be profiling my beloved Domino’s Pizza.  I’ve only watched two episodes so far and while this is not the most overly entertaining show, it certainly is informational.  Hosted by a TOTAL TOOL named Bobby Bognar, this show focuses on a particular food item/offering (pizza, ballpark food, Chinese takeout, etc.) and shows you how the foods get from the field/animal to the factory to your mouth.  It’s not the most addicting show and I’m not going to make any specific plans to watch it on its first run, but it is a nice show to have on your DVR when you’ve got an hour to kill and there’s nothing else going on.  This one is strikingly similar to Unwrapped on the Food Network.

Documentary Shows

Kitchen Nightmares (BBC America and FOX):  There’s two different versions of this show that have been produced for British (the original) and American television, but for the sake of brevity, I’ll just group them into both.  On this one, Gordon Ramsay (my boy!) goes around to failing restaurants and takes a week to diagnose their problem, analyze their operations and come up with a plan to turn the restaurant around.  Often times, there’s a lot of drama (real and fake) and a lot of things you couldn’t care less about, but ultimately Ramsay’s overwhelmingly engaging personality carries this show.  When you look past the constant blow-ups on Hell’s Kitchen (he obviously just overreacts to get ratings) and watch him on this show, you can see that he is a legitimately awesome guy that really does care about helping people.  Plus, he’s a lot of fun too.  He’s still driven and abrasive, but it just comes across differently on this show.  That said, given the option between watching the British version and the American version, I would choose the British version every time.  The American version is sensationalized and the British version is just more of a “real” product.

Other Shows (ones that I watch, but don’t necessarily re-arrange my life for or always set my DVR to record)

Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives
Ultimate Recipe Showdown
Giada de Laurentiis (I know she’s only one person, but c’mon, I am a male…)
Unwrapped
The Best Thing I Ever Ate

As you can see, I watch way too much television as it is.  Unfortunately, there’s many others (Food Network mostly) that I will watch if the mood suits me, but these are the ones that I naturally gravitate toward.

So, do you have any favorites that you like to watch and why do you like to watch them?  Any favorite food show related television personalities out there (if anyone says Paula Deen, I’m deleting your comment.  Ha!)?  Let’s get a conversation going and maybe some of us can learn about some shows/personalities that we’ve never heard of and may find appealing.  Comment away!

-IndianapolisEater